


Absinth makes the hart grow stronger

by Beastie



Category: Beyond Belief - Fandom, The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Drinking, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5620366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beastie/pseuds/Beastie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Sadie Doyel open a bottle of Absinth and get more than they bargained for. And Drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absinth makes the hart grow stronger

Tonight’s dark episode, Absinth makes the heart grow stronger. Our story begins high above Manhattan in a luxury penthouse apartment of the plaza hotel where Frank and Sadie Doyle celebrate a special day the only way they know how…

“Another martini darling?” Frank asked as he pours the Gin and Vermouth into the shaker. He skimped on the ice, no need to fill the shaker with non-alcoholic frozen vodka or water as he had heard it called.  
“Do you really have to ask?” Sadie laughed holding up her glass expectedly tapping the stalk of the glass with her manicured nails. Frank gently swirled the martini and refilled his wife glass, fulfilling the first of his marital vows, then poured himself one which was also part of the wedding vows. After a deep sip, Frank suddenly remembered the box he had hidden under the sofa. He took his wife’s hand and pulled her off the sofa standing her next to the drinks table. He topped up Sadie’s and his drinks then raised his glass triumphantly.  
“I would like to make a toast to you Sadie dear. Happy birthday. Like a fine whisky with every passing year, you improve just a little more. And you were perfect to start with.” Frank announced.  
*Clink*  
“Thank you Frank-en-stein I feel the same way about you.” Sadie sighed after her glass was empty.  
Frank between sips scoffed  
“Naturally” he laughed  
“But darling.” Sadie continued, “I am almost certain my birthday was in June last year.”  
Frank finished his drink and thought deeply  
“That’s possible,” He admitted. “However! We are drinking to you, and your overtime improvement on perfection, today because I have procured for you a gift that simply could not wait however long it is until June if it is not June now. For you Sadistic,” He continued brightly. He pulled the box out from under the sofa and placed the present on the drinks table, gently sliding bottles out of the way to make room for the box. Sadie with her free hand gently pulled on the ribbon binding the box and flipped off the lid letting it fall to the floor. She rummaged through the tissue paper until her fingers hit something glass.  
“Oh, Frank! Absinth! And the bottle’s full. What a lovely gift darling.” She cried pulling out a dusty bottle.  
“Not just any bottle of Absinth Sadistic, this bottle came from the personal collection of Pablo Picasso it is said he acquired after the death of the playwright Alfred Jarry’s along with his gun, which I also bought at the same auction it was a 2 for 1!” Frank explained taking the bottle off Sadie and holding it as if it was an injured rabbit. Sadie clapped her hands excitedly and rushed to fetch two clean glasses.  
“Well let us without delay open it drink to them both! And to auctions!”  
Frank with his handy pocket bottle opener struggled to get the into the wax seal of the bottle. It cracked and slip letting loose a faint hiss and the smell of aged alcohol. Both Frank and Sadie shudder with delight as Frank poured the green liquor into their glasses.  
*Clink*  
“Oh wow Frank darling… it’s gone straight to my head.” Sadie laughed holding her swimming head.  
“Really darling?” Frank asked surprised looking down at his own glass “I must admit it is a fine tipple but I have seen you drink anti-freeze without noticeable side-effects… Sadie?”  
Sadie did not hear Frank she looked down at the half finished absinthe in her hand, it smiled at her. Shrugging she held the rim of the glass to her lips and felt the liquid jump from the glass down her throat. There was the sound of Theremin music Sadie gasped and dropping her glass. She fell into Frank who held on to her worried.  
“Sadie your glass! Sadie, did you hear that spooky music?” Frank asked desperately trying to revive his wife. One handed he opened a bottle of whisky and waved it under his wife’s nose. Her eyes fluttered open and flashed green for a second she lifted her head and smiled at Frank.  
“Yes… yes, I am fine… Darling? Yes, I am perfectly fine.” She assured him.  
“Are you sure? You sound different, a bit more French than usual.”  
“Me? My love, I am fine.”  
“Perhaps you should sit down.”  
“Why?” Sadie asked stepping away from Frank and brushing herself down. “Nice dress,” She mumbled to herself  
“First of all, you dropped your glass, I have never known you to drop a glass, secondly creepy Theremin music played just now and we don’t own a Theremin let alone someone to play it, that can not be good sign and thirdly most importantly I don’t remember a lot of things but I defiantly remember you don’t have a French accent,” Frank explained.  
Sadie waved away Frank’s suspicions and gazed round the room she sees the empty gift box and smiles. She starts to dance by herself as if she had just won a momentous victory.  
“Don’t be silly darling, why don’t we continue celebrating? We should go out hit the town, paint it rouge!” Sadie gasped, she wrapped her arms around Frank’s neck and tried to kiss him. Frank moved away.  
“Outside?” He mumbled repulsed.  
“Yes, darling! I want to see new things! Meet interesting people! I have been cooped up for too long, it's time I had some fun.” Sadie cried triumphantly "But first!" She added smoothly. She picked up the bottle of Absinth and gleefully smashed it on the floor.  
"Sadie!" Frank cried clutching at his heart.  
"It was a bad batch dear." Saide assured him, she tried to kiss him again. Frank ducked out of the way.  
“Sadie… what is my name?” Frank asked coldly.  
“Your name…” Sadie let him go and backed off slightly. “Your name… is it… Robert… you look like a Robert…”  
“No…”  
“Hubert?”  
“No,”  
“Karl…? You look like a Karl.”  
“I most certainly do not.”  
“Alright! Fine! You got me! I’m not your wife.”  
“You don’t say?” Frank gasped sarcastically. “Now listen you! Whoever you are or whatever you are I don’t care. Just get out of my wife this instant!”  
“Now listen… Harry? No? Okay fine. I have been in that blasted bottle for… what year is it? No never mind. I have been in that bottle for too long waiting for someone with a strong enough constitution to house my soul and now that I have found one I’m not letting it go.” Not-Sadie cackled. She observed Frank calculatingly. “By the way, you do not seem at all put off by this.” Not-Sadie pointed out.  
“This is not an unusual situation for me or for my wife who you are currently inhabiting and who you are going to get out of or I am going to kick you out!” Frank warned.  
“Oh come on Malcolm? You don’t know I may be more fun than your wife.” Not-Sadie smiled trying to slink her arms round his neck.  
“That is impossible,” Frank growled. “Sadie if you’re in there let me know love,” He added shouting into Not-Sadie’s face.  
“Oh she’s in here but she can’t hear you and the longer I’m in her the weaker she will get so you’re just wasting time because I’m not leaving this body but I am leaving this flat.” Not-Sadie laughed. She looked Frank up and down and sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” She asked, “You are just my type.”  
“No, I’m good,” Frank muttered. “But before you go. I would like to know a little about you.” Frank said he poured her and him a drink.  
“I am famous.” Not-Sadie smiled taking the drink off Frank. “I am the Green Fairy,” She announced happily.  
“As in the little green sparkly woman with wings,” Frank asked.  
“What? Who has been saying such things about me!” The Green fairy gasped she dropped her full glass that made Frank whine.  
“Walt Disney,” Frank suggested after he got over the shock of spilt booze.  
“He is going on my list!” The Green fairy cried pulling a scrap of paper out of thin air.  
“What’s that?” Frank asked.  
“Since you are being so good about this situation, whatever your name is, I am going to tell you. I am happy in this body. It suits me, so I am staying in it and I am going to have my fun and explore whatever time this is. And I Am going to get my revenge.” She smiled pushing the list into Frank’s hands. Hesitantly he read the names.  
“Oscar Wilde, Vincent Van Gogh…Charles Cros… Hemmingway  
… Alfred Jarry… A lot of people on your list are dead…” Frank mumbled.  
“What?” Not-Sadie gasped and grabbed the list back. “How many.”  
“All of them.”  
The green fairy shrugged and screwed up the list.  
“I will start another.” She sighed throwing the list over her shoulder and headed to the door. Frank stood between her and the door pulling a horseshoe out of his pocket dramatically.  
“Your first mistake was possessing my wife, your second was telling me what you are,” Frank announced brandishing the iron horseshoe towards the Green fairy. The Green fairy cowered away from the iron. "Now Fairy. Get out of my wife now or I shall start ringing bells." Frank warned pulling a bell out of his smoking jacket.  
"You keep those in your dressing gown?" the Green fairy growled.  
"You never know when you need a bell. But because, much like myself, you have spent the last couple of centuries in a bottle I will forgive you for not knowing who you are dealing with." Frank growled.  
"Fine you want to play it like that, you want me out of your wife, then fetch me an infant." The Green fairy snapped, she slumped down on the sofa and gracefully crossed her legs draping her arm across the back of the seat and smiling at Frank. Frank still pointing the horseshoe at her raised an eyebrow. The Green fairy sighed heavily. "I need a new vessel, bring me an infant I will consume its flesh and take its place." she explained nonchalantly.  
"Whats the other option?" Frank asked after a moment's thought.  
"There isn't one. bring me an infant or I keep your wife." The Green Fairy snapped.  
"Oscar Wilde was on your list wasn't he?" Frank asked after another long pause.  
"What's your point?" The Green fairy hissed.  
"Mr Wilde wrote a poem about absinthe if my memory serves me right?" Frank continued. The Green fairy was silent scowling at Frank. "How did it go?" Frank sang circling The Green fairy like a hungry shark. The Green Fairy tried to lunge at Frank but was slammed face first into the barrier of salt Frank had secretly been dropping around her.  
"It won't work!" She screeched.  
"Becuase I don't have a bottle?" Frank laughed he picked up the first bottle he saw and pointed it at The Green fairy like a sword. "I always have a bottle! After the first glass of absinthe, you see things as you wish they were." Frank chanted.  
"No!"  
"After the second you see them as they are not."  
"Stop!"  
"Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. I mean disassociated!" Frank finished triumphantly. the lights in the room glowed green, theremin music played and The Green fairy screamed as her green vaporous soul was pulled from Sadie and pulled into the bottle in Franks' hand. Frank slammed a cork into the bottle and the music stopped, the light turn back to their normal hue and Sadie collapsed. Frank rushed to Sadie and helped her up.  
"Oh, Frank." Sadie croaked draping her arms around her husband's neck. "I need a drink." She glanced down at the bottle still in Franks' hand. "Not that one."  
"Sadistic, for the first time in my life, I can tell you that this is a bottle I will never open." Frank signed.


End file.
